Precious

Posted on December 15, 2011

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He awoke suddenly, taking in a breath of air. Drool poured out of the corner of his mouth and into the little puddle on his desk. He looked around the room. Everything was as he had left it, right before he had escaped. Escaped from the grasp of Reality. He looked at his digital alarm clock. It read: 2:30 pm. Sleep had only given him refuge for a little over two hours. Damn. He thought, What now? He sat back in his chair and looked at the wound on his arm; a cut. It looked like a minature red canyon with dark encrusted edges. He stared at it a moment. A thought crossed his mind: Why do I do this to myself?
Another thought:
Because I deserve it.
Another:
Why?
Yet another:
Because I’m worthless.
His thoughts swarmed like angry bees.
Says who?
Says me.
What makes it true?
No one disputes it.
Who would dispute it?
There is no one.
Exactly.
He looked up at the cieling and sighed. His thoughts prodded on.
I’m a ghost, invisible in this New Age of selfishness and technology. If it weren’t for…
He grabbed his wallet off his desk and pulled out his driver’s license and Social Security card.
…these, I would otherwise be nonexistent. I have no relationships that make me even remotely significant. If there was a terrible earthquake, and this building collapsed upon me, no one would put up a poster with a picture of my face on it. No one would know I was missing until they found me, and hopefully found some identification, so it would at least be known to some degree that I had lived and died. But…
He took his driver’s license and bent it in half.
Even with these…
He then took his Social Security card and began ripping it to pieces.
I am still a ghost, only capable of achieving life if I committed a crime.
He opened a drawr and took out a small red box with a number lock.
Wise men have told me that life is precious. All life, no matter what.
He keyed in the number code and opened the box.
All life is precious..
He took out a .45 Magnum revolver.
All life is precious…
…but mine?
I don’t get it.
He put the barrel in his mouth and pulled the trigger.

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Posted in: Stories