Inept

Posted on March 12, 2016

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“Well, fuck her. Oh wait,” the man swiveled around in his desk chair and looked at me with a mocking smile.

“You already did that, my bad. I mean,” he folded his hands on his desk and took a deep breath.

Forget. About. Her.” His gaze bore into me as I cringed at his words. Forget? How?

“She isn’t the only chick in this world. And I hate to use clichés, but there’s not just seven billion dudes on earth. That would suck.” He laughed at his own joke, I did not. She was the only one in my world, but I couldn’t say that. So I shrugged.

“I guess so.” I sounded the least bit convincing, and he knew it. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, his expression turning to something like disgust.

“Come on, man!” He threw his arms up. “I mean even if you have to pay for it, there’s still plenty of other women out there. And there’s nothing wrong with paying for a one time swing. Hell, it’s cheaper, quicker and easier than having a girlfriend! Who the fuck wouldn’t want to pay for it?”

“They always say they get it for free…”

The man  laughed uproariously and slammed his hands on his desk. “Free?! Fuckin having to take them out, get them shit, and God forbid they love you, because then you have to live with them. It’s commitment. That’s not free. That’s fucking you over!”

I looked down at the folded hands in my lap, feeling stupid. Feeling ashamed. Feeling worthless.

“But of course,” the man reclined back in his chair, seemingly calm now. “What you lost wasn’t a committed relationship.” He nodded slowly, as if he finally understood the situation. “You lost a friend with benefits, which…” He nodded some more, rolling his eyes towards the ceiling. “I guess is a lot more like getting it for free.” He leaned forward and folded his hands on his desk again. “You fucked up.”

I nodded once, not wanting to agree with that simple fact. “I did…” was all I could manage to say. The man licked his lips and sighed. He looked down at the sheet of paper before him, picked up a pen and wrote something on it.

“Well,” he broke the awkward silence between us. “That’ll conclude your initial evaluation. You definitely need to be here. Welcome to the Center for the Socially Inept.”

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